Proper 19 year A RCL

September 14, 2008

Matthew 18:21-35

Peter came and said to Jesus, "Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.

"For this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves. When he began the reckoning, one who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him; and, as he could not pay, his lord ordered him to be sold, together with his wife and children and all his possessions, and payment to be made. So the slave fell on his knees before him, saying, `Have patience with me, and I will pay you everything.' And out of pity for him, the lord of that slave released him and forgave him the debt. But that same slave, as he went out, came upon one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii; and seizing him by the throat, he said, `Pay what you owe.' Then his fellow slave fell down and pleaded with him, `Have patience with me, and I will pay you.' But he refused; then he went and threw him into prison until he would pay the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed, and they went and reported to their lord all that had taken place. Then his lord summoned him and said to him, `You wicked slave! I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me. Should you not have had mercy on your fellow slave, as I had mercy on you?' And in anger his lord handed him over to be tortured until he would pay his entire debt. So my heavenly Father will also do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother or sister from your heart."

May the words of my mouth and the mediation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my strength and my redeemer. In the name of the Triune God: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Amen.

Today’s Gospel lesson is a continuation of last Sunday’s lesson. Last Sunday, Jesus talked about how to reconcile with a member of the Church that has wronged you. This is important because Christians worship within a community where there is the potential for conflict.

Today we hear Peter ask Jesus, "Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?" And Jesus responds, “Not even close. Try 7 times 70.” Our translation that we used this morning says 77 times. But there is also a footnote at the bottom of the page of most translations that explains that Jesus might have said 70 times 7. The point is that Jesus meant for us to forgive those whom have wronged us as many times as necessary to make the forgiveness stick.

Then Jesus goes into a parable to illustrate why we need to be diligent in our forgiveness. When the slave owner forgives the debt of the first slave, the debt is so large that it is essentially infinite. There was no way the debt could have ever been paid. After receiving this huge amount of mercy we would expect the first slave to show others the same mercy that he had received. However, just the opposite happens. The slave comes across another slave and demands payment of a much smaller debt. In the end, the slave owner hears about this and the first slave gets tortured until he can pay an un-payable debt. Which means that he will be tortured throughout the rest of eternity. Not good!

The moral of the story is pretty simple: God forgives us to an infinite degree, so we should forgive others to the greatest extent that our finite selves are capable. In fact, the Lord’s Prayer says that we will only be forgiven our trespasses in proportion to the forgiveness that we forgive others. Those that have forgiven little will be forgiven only a little by God. Those that have forgiven much will be forgiven much my God.

The moral of the story may be simple, but the practice of forgiveness is not. When someone asks for forgiveness it is relatively easy to grant forgiveness. However, giving forgiveness to the unrepentant is another story. In fact, I would argue that not even God grants forgiveness to the unrepentant. So, I think that what we are really talking about here in this passage is reconciliation.

I’d like to distinguish between forgiveness and reconciliation. For me, forgiveness is when I let go of the resentment that I feel toward the person that has wronged me. I haven’t kissed and made up, but I’m no longer plotting that person’s demise either. We will most likely have a strained relationship because trust has been broken and not repaired. In this case, I might even need to be the one that initiates reconciliation by acknowledging my own part in the situation. But we cannot control the feelings and actions of others. They might not want to reconcile. At this point my obligation is to pray for them, asking God to bless them with all of the blessings that I would hope to have for myself. That’s forgiveness.

Reconciliation involves at least three things: repentance, restitution, non-repetition. Repentance is acknowledging what you did, taking responsibility, and apologizing. Restitution is an attempt to undo whatever it was that caused the damage to the relationship. And non-repetition is not just a promise to never reoffend, but the proof that comes through time. Which means that reconciliation can be a process that takes a long period of time depending on the nature of the rift in the relationship.

And, from a practical point of view, I would say that there are certain things that can never be repaired and never can be reconciled. Forgiveness can still be achieved in the sense of letting go of resentment and thoughts of revenge, but you may never be able to have a relationship with that person again even if they ask for forgiveness. Some things break trust to a point that the trust cannot be restored. The risk is simply too high that a repeat of the offense would be unacceptable. This is not the kind of circumstance that Jesus was talking about when he told today’s parable.

In conclusion, there are two types of forgiveness. The simplest form of forgiveness is the kind that is one-sided. It only involves me because the offender has never sought forgiveness. The positive result of this type of forgiveness is that I no longer spend time looking to even the score with the wrong doer. I don’t allow that person to hurt me again, but I wish them well. Reconciliation is the second type of forgiveness. The other person and I settle our differences and return to our previous relationship. The rift is healed.

Reconciliation is what we seek as Christians. It might not work out. But we are called to try.

==AMEN==